I am ashamed at who I am for you in this world of wonder that is trying to give me an identity that doesn’t belong to me, yet I feel so blessed even through this confusion; therefore, I will strive to be a disciple who puts one foot after the other in great effort of making her father known in this life. The faint lights that give the streets a glisten of perfection after a spring rain shower give me hope that heaven’s lights will shine with much more altitude for my soul. These feet have been in an infinite number of places wearing a countless number of shoes, yet the identity of this depth is mutual through every unique step.
I crave more of Him to be seen in me, as I see more of how His strength defines me. Going from one side to the other, I ask myself if I believe in bridges. I put one foot in front and step onto a bridge that seems to whisper to me with the cracks of each step. It gives me an indescribable fear that pushes me to think farther than I want to. All of the sudden, I imagine myself falling beneath this bridge with my heart still tethered to the rails. I want to be a disciple, but it comes down to what I really can do for God. If only I knew how to cross the bridge to get to the side of freedom; however, the one thing that my mind has yet to explain is that I am already free.
The moonlight is a fierce reflection of the sharp, yet broken, whispers that my eyes send out to each detail of creation. These broken whispers creep up my spine and sneak into my heart due to the glimpses of being unwanted. I sometimes have to let go in order to find myself, for I know I am not defined by my flaws. The bind of my hand intertwined with someone else’s gives me an unexplainable strength in my identity through Him. Whether it is the naïve hand of my brother that has so much more to feel or the strong, courageous outline of my father’s solid fingers, I feel the love that is contained inside two of these different hands belonging to two different beings. Trying to find a way, love seeks the unity of coming together in one God. The only problem that lies within every idea is that we are weak to see that God has already made a way. Always are we constantly trying to be something, to do something, to fight for something, yet we have already been set free, yet we fail to see it.
Jesus has already paid the fine that we did not have the ability to pay.