Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Old Me

        She was sure.  She knew without a doubt where she would be in the future.  Not only did she know that, but she knew exactly what it would take to get her there.  She had many dreams and many plans.  She was determined, and she had the drive.  She was not going to let anything stop her.  Life started coming faster with more responsibility, and she slowly started to forget her dreams.  The times of both tears and laughter came and went quickly, barely letting her stop to even think once about her dreams.  She started walking away from the dreams she once knew so well, as life changed and took her with it.  Walking away with joy and pain, she stands confused for the first time over the plans of her future.  Now, this fourteen-year-old girl, me, who has not a single clue about her future, misses her old self.  It’s so hard to say goodbye to a part of yourself.  You can’t live your life thinking that you won’t be changed by the experiences you face.  Life happens.  Yesterday is gone, and we have to keep moving on.  The page in my book keeps turning to a new chapter, and I can’t keep up with all of the things I see myself doing.

        I’m so thankful for that girl that was once a part of me, and I am blessed to have known her so well.  She will always be in my heart, and I will always remember what she taught me.  All of the good, bad, happy, and sad will be inside of me forever.  Never will I forget the times that this old self of mine shared with the new me.  I still don’t know where I want to be.  I don’t know how to work towards something I have yet to know about, but I know that there are open doors filled with opportunities ahead of me.  My question is if I have the ability and potential to grasp these opportunities and work for where I want to be, like I once did.

        I do know one thing.  I know that God has a bigger plan for me than I ever have and I ever will.  He can see it all at once right before His eyes of grace.  It is hard to say goodbye to something that means so much to you, but God has reasons for everything he does in our lives.  I will always remember.  I don’t think we are meant to forget the parts of us that bring us to where we are today.  Built with strength and dignity, I stand waiting for God to show me parts of His plan.  I am no longer afraid of the future; however, I am still confused.  All I need is the hope that God will bring me to what He put me here to do.  I trust Him.  He took away a part of my old self, replacing it with a stronger me.  He is powerful, and he can work wonders.           

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Dead End Roads

It's a long, narrow road.  There aren't any turns except for short dead-end streets.  Continuing down the road, you find that it is another dead end.  As you turn around, your eyes seek for a way out but find there is no going back the way you came from.  The road is gone.  There is no going forward or going back.  You're stuck.  Lost, confused, stunned.  Where do you go when you can't see the end?  All you can think about is the dead end that leaves you standing in the same spot.

It isn't always a dead end like it appears to be.  People pass by and walk straight into light.  The light appears but then disappears as if it weren't ever there.  A new person walks by every few minutes, and they all walk in the same direction.  You wonder where they could be going.  You have lost all hope and fall to your knees.  A voice whispers, "Come home."  Your hearts beats faster and faster by the minute.  Where did the voice come from?  Mysteriously, you stand back up on your feet and feel as though you had wings.  Lifted into the air by your wings, you feel free for the first time.  The dead end escapes your mind, and all you can think about is spreading your wings to fly.

Head on the pillow and covers tucked up under your chin, you awaken from your dream.  Light shines from the window across the room and speaks to the depths of your heart.  Never before have you felt this much from life.  The One who holds all creation speaks life into your lost soul.  Getting out of bed, you walk over to the mirror and stare deep into the eyes that say much more than you've ever heard.  Taking it all in, another whisper shoots into your heart, "Come to me, beloved."  You are completely awake.  Eyes wide open, you search frantically around the room for a hidden voice.  Where is this coming from?  No longer is it a dream, but it is your reality.

God is real.  He speaks to you every single day.  The question is...are you listening?  Do you have your eyes open wide enough to see the miracles God puts in your day?  Do you have your ears tuned in enough to hear the words He says to you?  Do you?  God is not just a dream.  He is beyond that.  He is the I Am.

Dead ends aren't always dead ends when they take you somewhere you needed to be.  It is only in life's darkest moments when the light shines bright enough to get to your heart.  God speaks to us in many different ways.  Whether He speaks to us through the mountain peaks of His beautiful creation or in a dream that touches the bottom of our souls, He always has a way to reel us into what matters most.  We may be lost, but we don't live without being found.  You may be living, but are you really alive?  Are you living for the One who gave you life in the first place?

Dig deep.  Find what you are searching for.  We always have questions without answers, so it is time to uncover our lost truths.  What is it that we just can't see?  Open your eyes wider and tune in your ears so that you are ready for God to speak to you with answers that you haven't been able to hear before.