Jesus is stronger than any of my darkest fears. If I understand this, then why is it so hard to have trust when things don't go by my plan? Instantly, as if being electrocuted by a flash of lightning, I curl up and hide in fear because I wasn't prepared for God's plan to come and interrupt mine. Of course, I knew it would happen at some point, but I thought it would be during better timing, under greater circumstances when I wasn't so cluttered with the rest of my life. Just when things start to turn around and give me peace, everything is cluttered up all over again. How am I supposed to have trust when that happens? If I don't make time for God, then I won't ever be able to trust that He knows best.
I have trust because, even when I can't see Him, I understand that He knows me and He will protect me. No matter how busy or overcrowded my schedule seems to become, I will always have time for Jesus if I allow it.
During this new year, I have many things on my mind of what I want to quit.
Examples include: clutter, saying "yes" when I really mean "no", constant distractions from God, speed (moving too fast), multitasking and trying to get everything done at the last minute, activities followed by activities, spiritual emptiness, and settling for good instead of best.
When all of these things are capable of fixing, then I see no reason to stand by and continue to watch them happen. So I quit. I quit trying to do more than I can handle, I quit living with clutter because I just don't have time to be organized, I quit hiding what I really feel to avoid showing my true feelings, I quit filling my life with activity after activity, and I quit settling for what is "good" instead of what is "best".
During this new year, I am going to quit filling my life with all of these empty habits and start building more time for God. I am going to quit doing all of these pointless things, and assemble my life to be under God's plan, not mine. Most of all, I want God to lead me to have courage to trust Him when things don't go by my understanding.