Thursday, August 1, 2013

What if ... What if We Were Real ?

I  w a n t  y o u  b a c k  L O R D.
I  n e e d  y o u r  g r a c e.
I  n e e d  y o u r  g r a c e.

It’s the calling of the tide – ripping up against the shore line and carrying it all back out again...back and forth, back and forth, like a seesaw.  It whips here and there and swallows everything under.  There is no chance to survive, slight opportunity to stay afloat, and every opportunity to sink ... that is, when you go at it alone.

--And think of it this way : sometimes, people write the things they can’t say--

It’s all just a dream, you say.  It’s all in your head, you say.  Well, what if we were real?  What if.

And even if it will end up breaking your heart, be real because the Lord says to open up your soul – meaning to fully live by grace.  And it’s in the moment of fear when we admit to knowing a savior, but life means more than that.  We owe Him more than that, yet he charges us nothing.  Even more than this, he gives us everything.  He puts a delicacy of magic inside of us that we come to embrace.  He gives everyone this magic within them, but only few know how to discover it.  And how would that be done, you wonder?
[ yes, only through Christ ]

It is not long into our lives that we learn how really broken we actually are, yet for some of us, it is the day before we fall that we know how to start living; for within the wonder of living comes a truth --- to be human is to be beautifully flawed, and while it’s custom to hate the sin, we shall not hate the sinner…because in this life, we've all been on the sinner’s side.  We've all tried to convince others that we've made the right decision, but we are merely attempting to convince ourselves.

And then again, what if we were real?

If we were real; we wouldn't give it all away, we wouldn't run away with someone’s heart, we wouldn't complain about all of these graces –

- that the choices we make and the chances we take determine our destiny -
- that being loved by God gives us the security to risk loving, too, even loving ourselves -
- that forgiving the person you were is accepting the person you are and believing in the person you can become -
- that as weak people, we wouldn't change this world if not resting in the hands of a great God -

See, it is not we who should learn to trust others but we who should learn to trust God.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Retrieve the Dream

Trembling fingers graze the lock to your hiding place; dare you ask for the key.
  Once upon a time, it was yours alone to curl up in and ponder.
Now, it's been taken from you, and it has been confirmed that you will never get it back.

Along with its hidden seclusion, your comfort was taken, too;
the comfort to bask in who you wanted to be without the world refusing your greatness.
You used to keep it right there inside you...hidden yet so alive - the greatness of your heart that whispered unspoken melodies to you while you were dreaming.

Your hiding spot was your dream coming to life.
You kept stories there that no one will ever be able to unlock, decode, or understand.
The stories were yours, and they still are; however, they have been taken.
How can something that's been taken still be yours?

The answer is simple.
Tangible is easy.  Imaginative is hard.
It is assured that you have grown with spirit, mentality, and heart once you discover that the tangibility of your dreams must carry on through imagination.
Someday, it could be taken, and soon you'll be remembering the time when it was all right in your lap.
Today is someday, and you are replaying the vision over and over - your dreams have transcended into the wind, and you are powerless to retrieve them.

Sunday, February 24, 2013


"It's okay to be fearful.  Some of God's strongest warriors were frightened.  The difference between a believer and the rest of the world is that we press on.  We can be shaking in our boots, but we don't turn back.  The hopeless-that's what they do.  They give up on their mortgage.  They give up on the unemployment line.  But I can sit here and know that my God saves.  And no matter what I go through, if I keep pushing through, he's there in the end.  So, honey, having fear doesn't mean you're on the wrong path.  It just means you put on your helmet and your jersey and you plow right on through."
-Jenny B. Jones, Just Between You and Me

Just one question today... 
  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Break My Heart

        God wants our hearts to be broken so that we will understand the great love he has in us, even during our brokenness.  He doesn't always do things the way we expect, and we can’t control his plan; however, we do know that, “in all things, God works for the good of those who love him,” (Romans 8:28).  As you go through difficult times, look for ways that God is working for your good.  You may not be able to see it at first, so that’s when you have to trust him.  You eventually learn to thank God for the bad he puts in your life because you finally can see his purpose.  He is only building you and crafting you so that you learn to live a life that he is proud of. 
        As we go through this journey of becoming a representative of Christ, he will equip us with what we need to carry out his will.  Because he loves us and gives us what we need to succeed, we welcome others, even strangers, into the plentiful love that he wants us to share.  He is our warrior, and he is willing to fight for us; therefore, rejoice in the splendor of his holiness, even when enemies attack.  When we forget to worship him for all he has provided us with, God seems to feel so far away.  We don’t have to pretend with God, but we sure do it anyway.  We feel the need to build up this perfect image when we come to our perfect creator in prayer.  You don’t have to pretend to him that things are okay when they aren't.  A lot of people suffer when they don’t deserve to; however, when you pray to God and tell him that you need help, he hears you.  Sometimes, things happen to us that we can’t immediately find a way out of, but we learn to not be afraid, for he is with us, willing to be our warrior.  He sees and feels the things we suffer, so it is not time to give up hope.  Keep looking for ways that God is with you and loving you.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Concert Moments

Never forget to remind yourself of the real reason you pursue your passion.  Oftentimes, I have to ask myself if I’m doing what I love to please God or to please others.  If my motivation for anything in life comes down to being better at something than someone else, then I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons.  I have to stay true to myself while I grow into the person God created me to be with all my hobbies, talents, and faults.  Never sacrifice the opportunities to serve Christ with your passion for a chance at being better than someone else.  The most important truth I remind myself is to stay true to me when doing what I love. 

When you pray and read scriptures, are you really trying to make it a part of your life, or are you just going through the motions?  Sometimes, we make ourselves try too hard to pray or read the bible that we forget we have fallen in love with our savior.  We cannot fall into this lonely pit of being just a good bible study girl.  We have to go beyond religion and truly desire a relationship with Christ. 

Most people know that I love to write.  Ever since I discovered my joy for writing, I have expected this grand piece of excellence to rise from my heart and perfectly explain my relationship with Christ, the top subject I love to write about.  I keep imagining that it will be an inspiring work of art:  a make-people-cry, make-people-want-to-change, and inspire-people kind of writing.  I’m so focused on studying and engraving my Christianity into my writing that there is no passion connecting it all together.  It has turned into a chore.  I’m waiting and waiting to escape this pit-stop on my journey as an author, but it feels as though I won’t ever see the ending.  Every time I sit down to write about absolutely anything, I fall in love with writing all over again and am reminded why God has given me the gift of words.  Even though I have not created this magical piece of writing does not mean I never will.  I have faith.  I can pray all I want to and read all the scriptures I want, but if I don’t have hope and faith, then I won’t ever learn to be at ease with hiking my mountains. 

I need to stop trying so hard to make everything perfect so that I can let my feelings be real.  As soon as I come to face my problems and accept them as a part of me, failures and success in all, then my relationship with Christ will become even more real to me than my depth of thinking.  It’s like a concert moment:  when you are standing in a sea full of people, but the only one who you see is God, as he’s reaching out to you and your hands are straight up high reaching for him.  It’s the moment when you can see what things in your life really matter – a moment that couldn’t be worth any words.  A concert moment is not only a moment, but it becomes a piece of my heart.  Whether I want to make it real or not, those concert moments in life are what keep me so intrigued in my faith because I can see all at once just how much he loves to see his precious daughter give him glory – and that is why I am so in love with my savior.  He gives me those moments when I least deserve them.  He makes me feel so loved when I haven’t earned anything, and it is in this moment when I can see just how much I am called to love him.  He wants to see good things out of me, and it is in the heart of these moments that I decide to let that side of me win.  We’re not perfect people, and these concert moments won’t change that; however, the moments do show us how unfailing God is.  I certainly love him.  In some ways, I don’t have the image to say that because I put his name to shame with all of my sins, sins I commit every day.  No matter how many times Satan tries to be my so called, “friend,” I learn to ignore it.  I get stronger every time the temptation shows up, and it’s all due to what I feel in the moments where He is the only one I see.  In just a moment, my life becomes so simple.  I’m not worried, sad, or mad but completely joyful.  My main goal with my time here is to make the concert moments my life, my reality.  There will always be bad happening in the world, but it is people like this – making their realities different – that end up making the most impactful change.  I want to be one of those people, and I know I can be because I’m in love with the savior who gave up his life for mine.  With the worth and power of Christ invested in me, I can be unstoppable for God’s glory.  There are times when we get lazy and resent to give him the time that he deserves.  With that, we start to feel really alone, no matter how many people are actually supporting us.  After the lonesome comes, we begin to forget our purpose and why we do the things we love.  God exists in the center of our lives and when we lose him, we lose everything else. 

Make him real; you’re the only one who can.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Loving the Least

A barefoot child walks along the shore of what used to be his home.  His eyes are stained with profound images of love escaping his whole world.  Who knew that love could instantly be removed from life so easily?  The sparkle that every child's perception should have is gone from this boy's breath.  The answer that his question awaits lingers through his damaged mind.  "How long will it be before someone loves me again?"

His life has only begun, yet it feels that he has lived through enough to be infinite.  His dainty hands have so much responsibility for an impoverished adolescent.  He endures abandon over and over again with each day he is grateful enough to survive.  What if someone actually extended a helping hand?  Would he live longer if someone loved him enough to show him how to live, not just be alive?  He lacks confidence, and he is decaying from the outside in.  He craves love, but there isn't one who is courageous enough to be his helper.

Can we really just leave the innocent behind to grieve on their own?  They are on the run from life.  They are hopeless, yet their lives have only started.  I can feel their hearts beat in rhythm with my own.  No matter how much is hidden, every child has a dream to belong and be loved.  I know that God has a plan for these kids, but I can't help from thinking that I am a part to this plan.  I look around me everyday.  Do you know what I find?  I find people who are fortunate enough to own glimmering hearts that recognize love, that recognize Jesus, that recognize grace.  I am blind, yet I ask that He would open my eyes to a whole other way of living.  I couldn't ask enough for Him to help me see into the world of these kids.  Their realities are so far from mine that I forget they even exist.  Right now, open my eyes...despite my blindness.

These are meager lives that suffer from constant shortages.  Who should have to struggle to find their next meal?  Who should have to fight to receive love?  Who should have to compete for belonging?  No one should have to brave these things, especially not alone.  Boys and girls can feel like kings and queens when we reach out with enough heart to love the least of these.  

Sometimes it is good for us to have broken hearts, for it reminds us of how much we still have in spite of our brokenness.  I often need reminding that I was once a child in need of a friend.  These lost lives are real, yet the world has somehow forgotten them.  These kids keep waiting for a door to open, but they keep running out of hope because they have been misguided so often.  This is the chance for us to be the hands and feet of God!  Let's do it!  Let's make a change in a child's life.  Every one of us is a wave in an ocean of a world.  All we need to do is create more waves.